Wedding Films 101 // Chapter 3 – Vow to write your own vows

It’s absolutely no secret that deciding to use traditional wedding vows versus writing your own is a conversation that nearly all newly engaged couples will have at some point before they walk down the aisle.  As the person in charge of creating your wedding film, let me weigh in on this often debated dilemma – give some serious thought on taking the time to write your own vows.   It’s easy for me to offer my opinion, knowing that I don’t have to sit down and decide how to put the feelings and emotions that you feel for your soon to be spouse on paper, but read on to see why I think it is important to embark upon this often self reflective journey.

Trust me, I get it.  It’s far easier to go the whole “to have and to hold, til death do us part” route, especially on one of the biggest days of your life.  It’s one less thing to stress about, knowing that your officiant will prompt you to repeat certain lines verbatim, leaving little room for error. But hold on for a second.  Before you jump on board the traditional vows bus, think about something.  This is one of the most important moments of your life.  Why have someone else decide what you should say in this  exact moment?  This is your opportunity to share with your spouse (and friends and family)  the emotions and love that you have for each other. What I have found after doing hundreds of weddings is that the couples that write their own vows are able to make their day more personalized by sharing promises and emotions specific to who they are as a couple.

If you have made the decision to move forward and forego the traditional vows, perhaps the even more difficult task is the fear that you won’t even know where to begin when it comes time to put your pen to paper.  Choosing the words that you will share with your life partner is a pretty big deal, but there is something hopelessly romantic about beginning your life together with words that come directly from your heart.   Although this may seem to be a super daunting task, don’t think of it as that.  Some of the best written vows I’ve heard are the most simple.  You don’t have to write poetry or anything formal, just speak from your heart.   One of the best and most memorable examples I can think of was an amazing couple a few years back.  They had chosen to write their own vows, but to alleviate any stress the day of, they decided to write the vows down and read them to each other at the altar.  This turned out to be the highlight of the day.

There is no wrong choice in selecting the route to go with exchanging your vows.  If you go the personalized vows route, although the emotions and thoughts and the love that you are feeling may not be easy for you to translate into wedding vows, but to be honest, the harder it is, the more rewarding it will be after all is said and done.  And I’ll be there, to capture it all, so that you can remember that exact moment (and personal triumph) for years to come.

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